100 ships and counting
by TheOriginalADHDKid
Summary: These are basically a bunch of short matesprite/morial/whatever the hell you want of Homestuck ships. You can request some in the comments or in a PM. First one is Cotton Candy, no sburb.
1. Cotton Candy

**A/N: Just some short homestuck stories, criticism is appreciated as long as you're not a jerk about it! This one is RoxyxJane and has some cursing and kissing, so if you're grossed out I suggest you leave now and spare your innocence. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own homestuck, Mr. Hussie does. **

**Cinfessions and cookie explosions.**

== Be the tipsy blonde.

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and you are the tipsy blonde currently shoving clothes for tomorrow and a vodka bottle into your overnight bag and grinning like an idiot. You're about to have a sleepover with your Bffsie4eva, Jane Crocker.

Something kinda sorta important to mention? Tonights the night you've decided you're going to confess your undying love to your best friend. You've kept this secret for long enough, maybe it's the alcohol talking but you think it's time to man up and get on with it. Sure, it's kinda risky doing it at a sleepover, and sure there's probably no way she'll share your feelings because that's fucking insane she doesn't like girls, and also you could be risking your entire friendship and and oh gog you feel a panic attack coming on as these thoughts surge forward. You grab your 'medication' better known to many as Vodka quickly take more than a swig. _Now is not the time to stress out, everything will work out, and you are NOT going to get worked up over this and ruin what could be a perfectly fun night. Maybe tonight won't be the night to confess, you'll do it when the times right, you've thought it through some more, and when you're actually sober._ The alcohol takes it affect and starts to calm you as you take a moment to calm yourself down.

When you've finally gained composure with the help of a couple more drinks from you bottle you make a grab at your bag to be on your way when your cat jumps on the bed and demands to be payed attention to. You chuckle because this is also part of your pre-sleepover routine; your cat gets jealous that you're going to leave for less than twenty-four hours and throws a temper tantrum , you coax him food, cat treats, and way too many cat toys you've bought for him. You take better care of that cat than you do yourself or your little sister Rose, who thankfully is with your mother who is visiting a friend. You two don't always get along because there is a five year age gap, yet she is practically a forty year old woman in a ten year old's body.

"Love ya, buddy. I'll be back tomower," you say stroking your spoiled as hell cat's back affectionately, then correct yourself out of habit. "Tomerrow, tomortow, ah fuck it, you know what I'm trying to say."

With that, you grab your bag after going through a mental checklist that you can only do while buzzed because of experience. With that, exit your large, yet unnervingly quiet house practically skipping down the street to be at Jane's already.

== Be the host of a sleepover.

You're now Jane Crocker. You're currently rushing around to put the last finishing touches on your baking decor for best friend who is coming over any minute now for a sleepover. Though these sleepovers are not a rare occurrence, they are one of the best perks of your guy's friendship. Every Time one happens to roll around, they seem to get better. A memory of a very drunk Roxy and a very sleep deprived you prank calling Jake English crosses your mind and you nearly double over in laughter as you remember his confusion, stressed out tone, and peculiarities that morning at four A.M.

You're pulled from that memory as there is a signature knock at your door, belonging to the one and only Ro-La. You quickly finish the last touches on your baked goods and wipe your hands to open the door. She stands there with a sloppy grin that tells you she's halfway to being drunk. Her pink eyes glimmer and her hair shines in the sun setting behind her. It makes your heart skip a few beats. You greet her with a hug instead of letting those thoughts crowd your mind and grin back at her.

"Dang Janie, you pulled out the blig guns on this sleepover, huh?" she says, her words slightly slurred. God she was cute when she was tipsy "*Big."

"Heh, yeah." you start. "Um, hey Rox?"

"Yeah?"

You think you've been hiding your feelings for almost three months now, and almost every sleepover since you first realized you wanted Roxy for yourself have been attempts at a confession. Unfortunately, history has repeated itself yet again because you chicken out last moment.

"Never mind, you ready to have the best sleepover ever?" you cover up, thankfully she doesn't notice or is nice enough to pretend it never happened because she nods again like a child on a sugar high.

"Hells yeah! Let's start with making a pillow fort!"

"That seems to always be your first choice.."

"Pillow forts rule. Period... No exclamation point... Ten hundred million exclamation points!" she laughs and again butterflies enter your stomach at the beautiful sound.

"Sure, Lalonde. Whatever you say." and you both laugh as you grab sheets and chairs to get started on the soon to be pillow palace that will dominate most of your living room for the night.

After it is complete and you both are satisfied, you pop in a cheesy movie your guy's friend Jake has lent you. You take down the exquisitely decorated sweets and put them between you two while Roxy digs around in her pink overnight bag and pulls out her half empty bottle of vodka. You shrug off your slight discomfort but don't say anything, only try to pay attention to the already what you can tell to be cheesy beginning. Golly, Jake sure did have an awful taste in movies.

Half way through the movie and well after you and Roxy have given your opinions on the movie's dialogue Roxy is drunk as ever, laughing every time there's an explosion, which is every two minutes. You can't help but join in her easygoing laughter and almost get drunk off her energy alone. Although the explosions you could do without, and the cheesy lines, the movie wasn't half bad, in fact, you probably would have enjoyed it if you were actually paying attention.

She quiets down a bit and starts to comment on the movie again when you both reach for a cookie at the same time, hands meeting. You quickly retract you hand, blushing like crazy and you have never been more thankful for the effects of the great elixir alcohol. Roxy merely giggles and grabs the cookie, leaving you astonished to find that her cheeks are a red colored too, though probably from all her drinking.

Your dad comes down the stairs to tell you and Roxy to start quieting down because he has work in the morning and that not to stay up too late or to leave the house. Not that either of you would.

Roxy grins at you and whispers, "Janey, you are soOoOoO totes busted!" then proceeds to crack up laughing at herself. You sigh, because it's that time of the night when everything and anything becomes hilarious to Roxy, especially her own humor.

In order to try to respect your father's request of not being so loud, you suggest playing a game, to which Roxy refuses to play anything other than truth or dare. You smile a little as she crawls into the fort again and props up on her elbows telling you to start.

"Truth or Dare Ro-La?"

"Hmmm, truth!"

"Let's see.." you trail off until you find a good enough truth to ask. "Were you the one who hacked Mr. Ampora's math powerpoint to play the video of him doing his water aerobics last month?"

"Janey, how creuld you think such a thing? Poor ol' incoscence me?" she says feigning innocence. "Lmao*Could. *Innocent.*

"Mm hmm."

"Okay it was me, you caught me! Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Aw wha? I knew you were gonna do truth! Boooo!" she protests. "I demand a recount!"

"Recount? We didn't even-"

"RECOUNT!"

"Shh! You're going to wake m-"

"RECOUNT!"

"Roxy! Stop my dad's go-

"RECOUNT."

"Roxy! Stop! Be qu-"

"RREEECCOOUUNNNTT."

"Okay! Okay! Fine, I'll do a dare! Shucks, if you're going to be be that loud every time I choose truth..."

"Yay!" she grins again at you. thinking for a moment, stroking her chin in jest. "I gots it! I dare you prank call Dr. Strider's Bro!"

You groan and ask if you have to, to which Roxy hands you the phone while barely able to hold her giddiness inside. She was adorable like this, and your thoughts drifted until you heard a sleepy, annoyed voice on the phone demanding who was there.

"I uh, yes. Mr. Strider? Uh, have I got a deal for you! For a limited time offer I will be selling... Crocker-cooker undergarment ironers!"

"Who the hell is this?"

"Well sir, we all know how you are with your irony! Buy one today for only $19.95!"

"Jane, I'm going to pretend you didn't just wake me up at One A.M. to give me that lazy ass excuse for a prank call and go the fuck back to sleep."

The phone went dead and your face went red as Roxy erupted into giggles for the next approximately seventeen minutes. After that, the game carried on for another hour or so before you both got tired and decided to call it a night. Just as you both crawl into your pillow fort, Roxy begins to speak.

"Janie... Thanks for invitin' me over. I love our sleepovers. You are da BESSST. I'm gonna back you somethin'.. *Bake."

"It's no trouble, Lalonde." you smile sleepily.

She crawls over to you and flushes as she wraps herself around you. You freeze as her warmth invites you in and begins to take its toll on you. Your cheeks burn red and she kisses you on the lips for a moment, then pulls back, whispering.

"I love ya, Janey...I really do."

"Roxy, I-"

"Shhh shhhh shoossshh. 's okay. Goodnight."

But as quickly as the embrace had come, it left and she was already falling asleep in between her sleeping bag and you. You pull it over her and try to make sense of what exactly just happened. Stuttering incoherintly to yourself for a few moments, when you finally give up and blame it on having too much to drink and you attempt at some sleep. Not before whispering more to yourself than to her, "I love you too, Roxy.."

You wake up to the smell of something burning and also the unpleasant smell of smoke. You think maybe dad over cooked some eggs and roll over when you realize that you're not in bed, and you have a drunk Roxy over. You shoot out of the fort upon seeing she's not there and race to the kitchen. Smoke fills the room and Roxy's knocked out cold on the ground while the oven is close to being engulfed in flames. You put on a mit and turn off the oven while fanning out the small fire. When it's gone you open the oven and see cookies as dark as coal in there with some splatters of batter here and there. You open a window and attempt to fan out the kitchen when you remember Roxy and quickly turn your attention to her.

She's knocked out cold and not breathing evenly. You're sure it was the smoke so you drag her into the living room and give her space waiting a minute before noticing she still isn't breathing very evenly if at all and you start to panic. Do you call the police? Wake up Dad? You don't have time for either options so you lean down and prepare Roxy for what's about to happen.

== Be Roxy again

You wake up with a pressure on you chest as well as on your lips. You jolt in surprise as air is being transferred to you and Jane looks at you with tears of what seems like relief in her eyes.

"Thank God! Roxy.. I-I thought you.." she gives you a hug and you feel a splitting headache a bit more powerful of your usual hangovers. You take a few deep breaths launch into a couching fit before asking what happened.

"Uh, you are or were kinda drunk and um why don't we discuss this in the morning, huh?" she rolls over and refuses to communicate with you until you decide that it's best to respect her wishes, also the fact that sleep is desperately calling your name. This does not spare you, however from the fear what exactly you did while intoxicated.

"Ugh, my head.." you mumble as you sit up and try to gather your surroundings. Suddenly last night comes rushing back to your memory and you grimace.

"Morning.." Jane trails off and you turn to face her. She's still in her Pajamas but her hair is neatly brushed and her breath is minty fresh.

"Jane... What happened last night?" you ask, scared for what you did.

"Um, how about we talk about this over breakfast, my dad made some then left for some errands so he won't be back for a while."

She leads you to the kitchen where you distance yourself as much as possible from here at the table where there are two plates of eggs with bacon and toast to accompany it. You stare at the plate as she hands you some aspirin to down with orange juice she provided and you mumble a thank you.

After a moment of silence, you ask,"What the hell happened last night?"

Then she tells you. Every embarrassing detail and you feel your pale face grow red. Just when you think it was bad, it got worse. You avoid her gaze and when she's finished, you stay silent for a moment.

"Jane... I'm so sorry." you say, you can practically feel her eyes on you and you want to crawl underneath a rock.

"Roxy," she starts softly. "It's okay, really. You were just drunk, it's no big de-"

"Except it is!" you practically yell back. Words are tumbling out and there's no stopping it now. "Look, I know this is going to sound really gross and I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore but here's the thing; I like you. Okay? More than a BFFsie's way. And no, I didn't plan that kiss last night, that truly was my stupid drunk ass but I can't keep this from you anymore. I really, really like you"

You wait for a look of disgust to cross her face, but one doesn't come. Shock appears, but nothing else for what seems like the longest time as you get up to go grab your things and leave.

"Roxy-I- wait!" she grabs your arm and you stop. "Roxy, what are you doing? Don't leave. I just. I wanted to say...I- Roxy I have feelings for you too."

"You, what?!" you stutter, looking into her blue eyes.

"I do. I never had the courage to tell you.. I've been trying for a while now actually.." she laughs a little nervously.

"Are you serious? Is this one of your Crocker Pranks?"

"Of course not...I just.. Never knew how to tell you."

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive. I could never live without you, Rox. You're the most incredible person in my life."

"Jane, I- Does this mean what I think it means?"

Jane smiles and you pull her into a kiss, one you've dreamed of for a very long time. Time stops, fireworks go off, and you entire body seems to vibrate.

When you both pull away all Jane can manage is a soft, 'wow.'.

"I guess we're girlfriend and girlfriend now, huh?" you ask shy all of a sudden.

She responds with a kiss and nothing else seems to matter.

**A/N: First story is done. Tell me what ya think and if you want to see a specific pairing for the next one. Thanks for reading!**


	2. JohnKat

**A/N: A short JohnKat! Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck, Sir Andrew Elizabeth Stanford Eggletina Hussie the fifth does.**

== Be the teen with anger issues.

You stare at your blinking computer screen, as you have been for about an hour now. You rack your brain for ideas as to what to say. Gog-dammit, why did Egbert have to be such an adorable fucking idiot. You sigh, settling on a 'HEY'. _How ever so fucking original._

_- CarcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling EctoBiologist [EB] -_

_CG: _HEY

You get a little impatient.

_CG: HELLO, JOHN?_

Oh gog, that sounds desperate. You tell yourself to stop, but can't seem to help yourself.

_CG: DON'T IGNORE ME FUCKASS._

Smooth.

_CG: FUCK YOU EGBERT._

You bang your head on your desk while flushing a dark shade of red. _Way to go you blithering feculent shithole. _As you tell yourself to shut the fuck up, you realize that you're constantly in a battle with yourself. It gets exhausting but you never seem to stop hating your past decisions and dread your future ones. You almost jump when you hear a reply because you're so caught up in this conversation with yourself.

_EB: oh hey karkat_

_EB: sorry, i was talking with dave about how the glasses i got him for his birthday are no where near as sweet as my signed mcconaughey poster_

_CG: OH _

So he wasn't ignoring you.

_CG: WELL SPEAKING OF MOVIES_

Come on, Karkat you can do this. All it is is asking to see a movie. Nothing big, just a casual question.

_CG: MINE ARE CLEARLY SUPERIOR AND YOURS WILL NEVER EVEN COME CLOSE._

Are you fucking serious?

_EB: oh what?! no way man. _

_EB: your movies can't even compare_

_CG: JOHN, YOU WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD MOVIE IF ONE WAS SHOVED DOWN YOUR IGNORANT CARTILAGE NUB_

This is broken beyond repair... again. Way to go, fuckass. You can already feel yourself beginning to sulk in your failure. It was just one question.

_EB: is that a challenge? _

_CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN_

Smooth Vantas, smooth as fucking shattered glass._  
_

== Be the idiot who refuses cookies

Your heart is beating so fast you begin to feel paranoid that he could somehow sense it through the computer screen.

_EB: let's watch one of each of our movies to see which one is the best._

_EB: even though no movie could ever beat con air_

_EB: because it was the best movie in existence and that's really all there is to say about that._

The truth was that when you saw Karkat's message, you got so distracted and flustered with all the possible ways you could work hanging out into the conversation, you forgot to answer him, like an idiot that he tells you are. You did manage to work up the nerve to invite him over, so you hope that makes up for it.

CG: EGBERT YOU ARE SO FUCKING DELUSIONAL AS ALWAYS BUT I WILL ACCEPT YOUR OFFER IN ORDER TO PROVE YOUR SORRY ASS WRONG YET AGAIN. DOES FRIDAY WORK?

You find yourself grinning like an idiot at his response and fist bump the air out of excitement.

_EB: yeah sweet! it's a date._

You gasp at your small slip and wait in awkward silence while silently cursing yourself.

_CG: I GUESS IT IS. SEE YOU THEN._

_- CarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling EctoBiologist [EB] -_

**A/N: Bluh, a crappy JohnKat. I'm horrible with this ship and I just want them to snuggle in bed but stuffffff. Anyways, thanks for reading! ;B**


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